Because she's ready

Yesterday Ryan and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary.

We also received the sad news that Gran Fran has pancreatic cancer.

There isn't much time left. 

We are praying for God to be merciful and to take her.

The tears come often. 

Sometimes at unexpected moments.

Gran Fran and I were roommates growing up.

She would come spend the winters with us and her and I shared a room.

I will never forget the way her face glistened when she loaded it with her "night cream" that she kept in her yellow "grip".

We would tuck in for the night and watch episodes of the Golden Girls.  I still watch old reruns now and again and every single time I fondly think of Gran Fran.

She could be a stinker, our Gran Fran.

But I sure do love her.

As people age you expect and prepare that the day will come.

But somehow when they're "yours" it just never seems like enough time.

Tonight as I sat with Collin for bed time prayers he began by praying for the things he always does.

He paused for a brief moment and then he said...

"God, please take gramma to heaven, because she's ready.

Thank you for dying on the cross.

Please take her to heaven, because she's ready..."

She's ready...

10 years

10 years ago I said "I do".

I walked down the aisle arm in arm with my dad and linked arms with the man I'd share my life with.

A decade has passed...

If I had the chance to do it all over again I would.
I'd say "I do" all over.
I'd still pick you.

I mean it more now than I did even then...
I love you Ryan.

Childlike faith

Lately I have really noticed Collin speaking of God often. 

He just finds ways to insert his knowledge of God into daily conversation. 

A few examples....

While at the park playing with a boy he'd never met they chatted about how neither could touch the handle bar that was out of reach.

The boy said "no one can reach that"

Collin quickly responded "God can reach it"

That same night the kids were preparing to ride bikes.  I overheard Collin explaining to one of his neighbor besties that 

"God doesn't have to wear a bike helmet because if he falls off his bike his brain won't get hurt because he is God."

He is at an age where he likes to compare his height next to his friends (he is usually always the tallest).  He is usually quick to add that "God is the taller than anyone".

Yesterday the neighbors were over and as I cleaned in the kitchen I listened while they tried to figure out how to fix something that was broken.  Collin offered his thoughts...

"I don't know why this isn't working, only God knows why."

They may seem small to some.

They were to even me at first.

Don't get me wrong my heart is tickled each time I hear him speak of our Lord.

But not until recently while praying over him did I realize that he is beginning to build a foundation of faith.

He's five.

His understanding of our powerful God is that of a five year old.

But even at five he knows well enough to understand that our God is all knowing, all powerful, and never out of reach.

Build on son.

Build on.

Action Packed

Action packed.

That pretty much sums up the last two days!!

Yesterday we went to the street fair with Nana.

We met up with Aunt Brenda, Jessica and Jaiden.

It sure was hot but the kids had fun!

Madelyn rocked the side pony.

 Sweetest picture ever.  

Love them.

Monster bag of cotton candy.

All down here from here...  ;)

 Face painting fun!

Collin chose to be the Green Lantern.

I immediately began to wonder how I would ever get it off...

I talked Madelyn into a more dainty route.

After she saw Collins she was questioning why she didn't get to paint her "whole face".  Girl doesn't miss a beat.

 Sweet bunny balloon hat.

Lots of snacks and dollars later we made it home way past bedtime with smiles on our faces.  ;)

Thanks Nana!!

Today we started out at Grammy and Papa's along with Aunt Andi, Uncle Dude and sweet Claire.  So nice to see them!  Love them all.

After a fab bbq dinner Grammy and GG and I decided to take the kiddos up to the city carnival.  I hate carnivals but the kids LOVE them and get the biggest kick out of the rinky dink rides.  

High way robbery for what you pay to ride but their sweet smiles and giddy laughter makes it worth it!!  ;)

Driving the Model T

 Yelling to me mid air about the what he wants to ride on next.  ;)

Madelyn rode the horse Taboe

And then for the biggest thrill...

 We rode in the monster truck!

What a thrill!!

The good ole "caroself"

 Sno Cones.

Perfect way to end the night.

Thank you Grammy and GG!  

The kids will be talking about this for weeks!!

Next stop...

cousin Makenzie's first birthday party tomorrow!!

Change my heart oh God

Sweet mercy.

I know for sure that last summer I was writing about our sweet little Collin bug and his sassy mouth.  

Annnnd here we are again folks.

What is it about summer and sass?

Don't get me wrong, the boy has plenty of times throughout each day where he is sweet and kind and obedient but we are still working on the sass and also the tone in which he chooses to speak to others.  

A friend and I were talking not long ago about how our children soak us in like a sponge, the good, the bad and the ugly.

It's really so devastating to me when I speak harshly to or around my children.  I am continually praying for God to be my portion in this area that I am often lacking in.

My friend feels the same as I and as we were talking about how we just wished we were forever delivered from any sort of sharp tongue she shared with me something a friend had shared with her.

It's something I keep thinking about...

"God will continue to do a work in our hearts so that he can then use us to work in the hearts of our children..."

Powerful don't you think?

Our failures and shortcomings as parents provide us with the perfect opportunity to teach our children how to use one of the most powerful tools in any and all relationships...

how to say "I'm sorry, please forgive me".

Ok well that makes me feel better.

Fast forward a few days...

I was trying to clean up around the house with two littles creating disasters, needing snacks, asking for drinks, yada yada.

I asked Collin to clean up some disaster in the hallway and he  was slow to listen and quick to act silly as a five year old boy often does.  ;)

Momma was not having it.

I was quick to scold him for "not listening" and he muttered

"you're just like me"

"What?" I quickly asked.

"you're talking just like me."

Ouch people, that one hurt.

But he was right.

In that moment he should have been listening and he should have been helping but the tone I chose to use with him did nothing to help.  

I quickly knelt down beside him and affirmed that he was right.

I spoke softly and apologized for my ugly tone and asked his forgiveness.  We talked about how speaking to others with harsh voices is not how you get your way.  He forgave and quickly moved on but ugh that just stinks you know?!  I hate making those mistakes in front of my kids.  BUT the spirit reminded me that I will make mistakes.  Lot's of them.  But as God changes my heart he will in turn use me to help change the hearts of my children.

My sweet children that I love more than life itself.

So change my heart oh God.

Change the ugly in my heart...

Dear Mr. Trucker

Dear Mr. Trucker,

You pass by us so often as we travel from here to there.  More often than not as you pass my van you see tiny fists frantically pumping up and down at you in a desperate attempt to get you to honk your truck horn.  Please know that when you do honk, there are shrills of pure joy coming from both of my littles. Simple gesture on your part, yes I know, but when you notice them and you grant their request, you make them feel pretty darn special.  And you know what Mr. Trucker, they are in fact pretty darn special.  Thanks for noticing.  

 Happy trails to you!