I forgive you...

Just look at this sweet face...

Sweet little sugar!

He is a little sugar who is full of energy.

Rarely quiet.

Into lots of mischief.

But he is sugar nonetheless.

He flashes that sweet grin and it melts his momma's heart.

Last night as the evening came to a close and I neared the end of my allotted dose of daily patience, I was a little hasty with my Collin bug.  I had just put Madelyn to bed and Collin wasn't following my directions quickly enough.  He wasn't deliberately disobeying he was just neglecting to hear all of what I was saying?  I was quick to pull out the bedtime card and angrily whisked him off to begin our bedtime routine.  

He cried and I was about at the end of my rope.  

I was not at all sensitive to his tears.  

When I finally stopped to take a breath I was smacked with a huge wave
"you were wrong".

Ugh!

He really hadn't done anything wrong, other than acting like a typical 3 (almost 4) year old.  My reaction was less than stellar.  Not my brightest mommy moment.

His feelings were hurt.

I knew it.

My hasty reaction was wrong.

I sat on his bed pulled him into my lap and held him while he cried.

I rocked him and kissed his sweet, sweaty head.

I whispered "I'm sorry".

I explained that mommies make mistakes.

Sometimes we get upset.

I told him I was wrong, I shouldn't have acted angry.

My goal is always to discipline out love and not out of anger.
Sometimes I fail.

I told him how sorry I was and told him how much his mommy loved him.

He looked up at me with tear stained face and said

"it's ok mommy, I forgive you, I forgive you."

I cried a little.

He didn't notice, but I cried a few mommy tears.

It stinks to see your child's feelings hurt, it REALLY stinks to be the one who hurt them.

But it was a teachable moment, for both of us.

I thought back to a time when dad came to my room and apologized to me for hurting my feelings.  Truth be told, I have no idea what the "hurt" was even over.  

All I do remember is that he said he was sorry.

He hugged me real tight, and he told me loved me.

My dad taught me that we all make mistakes, sometimes we hurt the people we love, but when you are wrong you admit it.  Sure it's humbling, but you do it because it's what God calls us to do.  You do it out of love.  

Collin was quick to forgive and hopefully he will be just as quick to forget.

But if he walks away with anything from last night I hope he walks away understanding the power of a heartfelt 

"I was wrong, I'm sorry"

And maybe someday when he has kids of his own he will sit rocking his own child remembering back on the night (s) when his mommy made mistakes.  Hopefully he won't remember the mistakes, but rather that his mommy loved him enough to admit them!

P.S. Thanks dad!