Thursday, September 6, 2012

Day by Day

Sweet mercy.
This week has been a doozy.
I'm pretty sure I've aged 10-15 years in the last 2-3 days.

Collin had an awful day at school yesterday.
Every time I saw him he was crying.
So. pitiful.
He would beg me to take him home.
Tell me he was scared.
Stab in the heart and kick me in the stomach.

I probably shed as many or more tears than he did.
Issues, I know.

I'm a teacher.
A first grade teacher at that.
Every year I have criers.
Every year I reassure parents that "it will all be just fine in a week or two".
Then my child is suddenly the crier and I am too?
What?
I really can't say I'm surprised.
When it comes to my kids my heart is tender as can be.
Horrible feeling to know he was having such anxiety.

I actually began to avoid him.  
In fact at one point I came out of the staff bathroom and saw him feet away so I hid in the janitor's closet.
No joke.

I snuck out and took the long way around only to run into him on the other side.
Perrrrrrrrfect.
Oh hello Collin, hello waterworks.
You see why I aged?

Apparently after lunch he did great!
No tears and all was well.
Music to my ears and a bandage to my heart.

Last night brought more tears although it wasn't as bad as the night before.
This morning he gave me a run for my money before school.
I literally was at my wits end.
I was feeling terribly sad, trying to be comforting and yet feeling equally frustrated all at once.
We got to school and he was fine.

Every time I saw him today he smiled, waved and all without tears!
Miracles happen.
God hears prayers.
All of them.
Even the ones about kindergarten tears.

The first time I saw him he was coming in from recess.
This is part of what was giving him such anxiety.
He smiled, waved and said "see ya after school mom".
Y'all I could have cried right there.
Proud momma.

Then to top it off, the recess aide comes in and says
"you should be so proud of Collin".
Apparently he was paired up as buddies with another little boy who was having a tear filled day.
Collin walked over to his new friend and said...
"it's ok, I couldn't stop crying yesterday because I wanted to see my mom but you will see her after school".

Tears.

My sweet baby is spreading his wings a little more each day.
He still isn't all excited about school but I'm praying that happens over time.
He had a little anxiety tonight at bath time but it was less than even last night.
He stayed in bed without a fight and was sleeping within minutes.

Have we turned a corner?
Let's pray we stay on track people!!

1 comment:

  1. Oh yes we or should I say he has turned a corner and he is going to love school..maybe not on Mon but soon.. Our Collin will be a leader and have compassion for the lost..( just as he was on the first day of school when he was lost on the playground in the rain ).. that day he totally lost it , which we all can understand ..but think of it today HE was consoling someone else who was lost and crying for his mother.. Big progress for him but there he was helping out someone else in need ..just like our Jesus... I am so proud of you Collin Bug..( yes I know I called you that today and you told me I'm not a bug..) but you will alway's be My Collin Bug...
    I'm so very proud of you and you are on your way..you have so much to explore and so many opportunities to experience.. I am so lucky that God gave you to us and I am so happy to be your Nana... I love seeing you grow everyday..you are my heart..so grow on my Collin Bug..and I will be there in the background watching and thanking God that he blessed us with you...I love you now and forever..Nana...

    ReplyDelete