Sunday, September 11, 2011

Humble Pie

Humble Pie.
I ate a huge piece of it tonight at Target with my two naughty children in tow.  It should have been an in and out adventure.  Quick and easy.  Two small items on our list, no problem.

Noooooo problem.

Collin started sassing me.
He was told he would not be getting any sort of treat tonight.
Of course this was right about where the water works started.
Not the sweet "I'm so sad about my terrible choice to sass my dear mother" tears.  Oh no this was the LOUD, obnoxious kind of crying that you hear from aisles away.  You know the kind I am talking about.  Where you roll your eyes and think "good grief that mother needs to get her child under control and leave the store immediately.  Yes that kind.  

Unfortunately we had to get diapers so we trudge through store, crying Collin in tow.
Madelyn decides she would like to be added to the naughty list and begins running like a wild child, pulling things off the shelf and laughing.
Oh yes she did!

Meanwhile I sit Collin down and calmly tell him that he can join me once he is done crying.  I begin to walk away and rather than end his crying he cries louder 
"Mommy don't leave meeeeeeeeeeee"

Sweet Jesus I'm ready for the rapture.

I now have to scurry quickly to chase down Madelyn who is an aisle ahead of me.   Yep, mom of the year right there.
Where is Dr. Dobson when you need him?!

I catch her.
I'm sweating.
I wrestle her a bit.
She is still laughing.
I'm not laughing.
I pick her up and she starts the loud obnoxious crying that gains attention from aisles away.
There is no reasoning with her, so I don't even try.

Of all the days not to have a cart.

I am not making eye contact with anyone.
No, no this is not my proudest mothering moment.
I keep my head low as I devour my disgusting humble pie.
Who ordered this anyway?

Madelyn is relentless.
She doesn't give up.
She cries ever so loudly for most of our wait in the checkout line.
I can feel the stares.
I know people, I know.

I get to the front and the lady smiles and gleefully says
"Hellllll~O!  How are you tuhday?"

Sireously lady cut the happy greetings and start praying for the rapture.

We're done.
Whatever pride I walked into the store with is now smeared on the floor somewhere in aisle 6.

I love my children.
I mean really love them.
But boy do they know how to serve up a big ol heaping piece of humble pie.

I am now off to order Dr. Dobson's book "The Strong Willed Child".
I hope they have overnight delivery...


  1. I am laughing right now because I saw your images with me in them!! AHHHH! The sassiness is just about to do me in. I seriously think we must have the same child in two different bodies! HA! I just walk and smile when mine is acting that way basically as a dare to someone to say something to me. I have a younger sister who has no kids and always says "I will never let my kids...". I told her to hold her tongue because her kids will do exactly what she says they will never do!

  2. O Meg, I have been there!!! Jonah actually threw himself on the floor on our way out of a public est. one time screaming bloody murder like I was beating him and some friends that I hadn't seen in ions walked in and witnessed the event...I was horrified! You are so funny though, hope you can laugh about it now and I'm sure you were praying for the rapture, but you almost made me pee my pants just then, you silly girl! big smiles your way!!

  3. Oh friend, I know exactly what you are talking about. In fact I am pretty sure every momma in America can tell you that at one point or another that big humble pie has hit them square between the eyes!

    Why do these things always happen the ONE time you don't have a cart?? You are a great mom and the Lord has funny way of using our kids to make us realize just how much we need Him in this crazy journey of motherhood!! xoxo

  4. HiLARious!!! You make me laugh! :)