Monday, April 22, 2013

The not so happy birthday ends happy

Finally, finally they call her name.
Could there be an end to this crazy night?
Thankfully we were put in our own room, with a door, that could shut!
That's always a plus in the midst of pure nasty.
Sweet girl was still just miserable and wanted to sleep (at this point it was after 11) but every time she would finally fall into slumber someone would come in, push on her belly, ask a million questions and on and on.
Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate ALL of those people, and those interuptions because I know ultimately they were helping her, but when you and your baby are exhausted from days of sickness interrupted slumber is a bit bitter sweet.
Grammy and
Papa stayed awhile longer with us, which of course helped to soothe the mood.
Doesn't really matter how old you are, there is just something soothing about having your mom and dad.
Mom offered to stay the night with us but I wanted her to go home and get some good rest.  Sitting upright in an uncomfy chair could be left for mom and dad! 
We would have stood all night if need be, we just wanted Madelyn to feel better.
Papa prayed over Madelyn before they left which was much appreciated.
They opened the door to leave and waved goodbye.
When the door reopened soon after I imagined they must have forgotten something.
Imagine my surprise when my dear friend Gena walked in.
My friend that lives HOURS away.
I gasped.
Gasped and threw my hands over my mouth and just sobbed.
There were no words spoken.
Just momma sobs.
She knelt down next to me and just hugged me as my body shook.
Moments passed and I finally gathered myself enough to ask how in the world she had made it here?!
She had actually been visiting her sister in our neck of the woods and after they got all of their kiddos in bed they both came together.
It was now probably almost midnight.
And as if time didn't matter, they came anyway.
I hope she felt appreciated that dark night.
I'm also quite sure she can't possibly know what medicine she was to my sad soul.
God was also holding me through constant texts from my brother and my sweet friend Tracy.
I know they were in constant prayer.
It was most certainly the tie that was keeping this momma together.
We were covered in it.
I'll admit that there were several moments when Madelyn seemed to be in such pain and relief felt anywhere but near.  I would cry out to God in despiration "where are you?!".
He was there.
He was sending those who love us.
He was allowing them to take some of the burden.
He was giving them tears to cry for our Madelyn.
He was not only hearing their prayers for us, but was also answering them.
Oh yes, He was there.
We finally admitted for the night and taken to our own private room, praise you Jesus for another private room!  It was now 4:30 AM.  Madelyn had finally fallen into a somewhat peaceful sleep and Ryan and I caught a few moments of shut eye ourselves.
Wasn't long before morning came.
Madelyn wasn't showing any signs of improvement.
We weren't up long before my brother caming strolling through the door with a bag full of breakfast.
Of course I cried.
Just seeing your people, being able to put your arms around their neck, something about it brings comfort. 

The morning started out bad, as in really bad.
The handful of friends that knew what was going on were still texting me for updates.
When I shared with my friend Selina that things weren't looking up just yet she text back
"the girls and I just knelt on the kitchen floor and prayed".
Knelt on the kitchen floor.
She didn't say they sat on the couch to pray but rather knelt on the kitchen floor.
Which means they just stopped immediately and lifted us to the One who is all knowing.
I just kept picturing them in my head, it makes me cry even now.

Prayers were heard and as the day progressed she  started to turn a corner and while she wasn't fully recovered she did make enouch progress to be sent home!  BEST news!

We came home to a clean house thanks to Jeanette, who spent the day there making sure it was cleaned up so I wouldn't have to worry about it.  Blessing!
Of course Papa Don and Collin were also there ready to greet us with happy smiles!
A sweet picture from one of the neighbor girls was sitting on the mantle...
"Dear God, please help Madelyn get better" 
The prayers of the little ones were so touching to me.

It took 7 days, but Madelyn fully recovered.
By God's grace the rest stayed well.
Collin seemed to have a touch of it but nothing at all like Madelyn had.

God's grace is always greater than any trial we may face.
He stays near to the brokenhearted.
Gives strength to the weak.
Loves us well using our people.
He is the great physician.
We give Him all glory.


Sunday, April 7, 2013

The not so happy birthday part 2

During the last few minutes of Collin's party Papa Don sent a text to both Ryan and I that said Madelyn seemed to be getting worse and that she was just crying for her momma.  

We were out the door within minutes and on our way home.
She was, in fact, seemingly worse and was just crying and complaining of a sore belly.  She wouldn't sit up, didn't want to be held, didn't want to open gifts, nothing.  
Nothing would console her sad heart or her sick tummy.

We decided we better take her to the ER for fear she may be dehydrated from the day before.

We scooped her up and left in a hurry without even really saying goodbye to Collin who was going to stay at home with Papa Don, who by the way, was so very helpful throughout the whole stinking ordeal beginning on Friday when he was here with her cleaning up vomit.  

We get to the ER and they wanted to start an IV for dehydration.
Necessary, but so sad.

We were pretty sure this would do the trick.
They ran every test known to man, well at least it felt that way anyway.
Poor girl was poked in every place possible from her head to her feet.

 Look how sweet this girl's daddy is.
She rested very little, but when she did we were so thankful.
 Her daddy, her hero.

After 6 hours and three IV bags the Dr decided she needed to be sent to Children's hospital.
Not what we wanted to hear.
Unfortunately she was still dehydrated, which was determined by a urine sample taken by catheter, horrible experience.
Dr also felt he was unable to rule out appendicitis.
Oh mercy.

I wanted to sit with my head between my knees and just sob.
Watching your child in misery is like a slow death.
Nothing short of awful.

Can you imagine Mary watching Jesus on the cross?
No, unimaginable.
I'm sure every ounce of her wanted to go lift him off herself.
Quite sure she would have hung there in his place had it been up to her.

For 6 hours I just begged God to heal her.
Take the pain.
Give it to me.

I felt loved by all who were lifting me in prayer and yet I felt so isolated and lonely in this place of despair.  

Where are you God?

I had been texting mom the entire time we were there.
Part of it was because I knew they wanted to know what was going on but a bigger part of it was for me.
I felt better just knowing that her and dad knew.
I can't explain it but I just needed them to know.
I let her know we were being sent to Children's and she asked if I wanted them to come.
Every bit of me wanted to say YES.
But I've been through this before and I knew it was going to be a long night so I told her we would be fine and promised to keep her posted.

Our ambulance was ready and they got our girl situated.
We took pictures and made a big deal of her just so she wouldn't be scared.  She even smiled a bit when we told her we would send the pictures to Collin.  
Taking pictures at a time like this seems ridiculous but it seemed to help her feel this ride was "exciting" rather than scary.

We have taken this ride with Collin before so I knew the drill.
One parent allowed along in the front.
I told Ryan I'd go and he could run home and grab some clothes and things we may need.

I hate those rides.
No one wants to be in an ambulance.
But no one ever wants to be in the front while their child rides strapped in the back.

We got to Children's and it was PACKED.
As in wall to wall sick children.
I was given the unfortunate news that we would be waiting for our turn.  
Um excuse me?
We have already waited 6 hours and were just transferred by ambulance.
"Sorry ma'am take a seat and we will call you when it's your turn."

I literally looked at the young EMT and told him I was going to have an anxiety attack.
I'm sure he wondered if it was a good idea for him to leave this poor sick child alone with her crazy mother.

It was in that moment that I realized "you're all she has, suck it up momma, you're all she has".

So I swooped up my sick girl and gently placed her in the enormous wheelchair they brought us.
Of course she cried.
Which made me want to cry.
"you're all she has"...

I wheeled her to farthest part of the waiting room and tried to drown out the sound of vomit and horrendous coughing while putting all of my focus on this sweet girl.

I frantically tried to text/call Ryan.
The ER is in the basement of the hospital.
Dead zone.
You HAVE to be kidding.

I was able to get ahold of him long enough to let him know I was about to freak out and I'm sure that in that moment he wondered why in the world he didn't ride in the ambulance.

I then did what any daughter would do after she called her husband.
I called my mom.
And it connected.
"Mom it's awful here, we are in the waiting room full of sick kids and I'm alone."

This next sentence makes me cry even now...
"We are already on our way there, we will be there soon"

I told her they didn't have to come.
But she knew.
And without having to ask they just jumped in the car at 11 at night and were on their way.
I can't tell you what relief that brought.

I was alone for about an hour before they arrived.  They rounded the corner and for the first time I was able to cry.  I just buried my head in her shoulder and I cried.  
And she knew.
She didn't fall apart.
Sometimes momma's just have to hold it together for their girls.
I couldn't make eye contact with my dad.
I may have needed my own ambulance ride if I let it go with him. 

Pull it together sister.
And I did.

Ryan arrived and it wasn't long before her name was called.
One would never think that relief would come by hearing their child's name called by an ER nurse.  But when your baby is sick there is the sweetest relief when it's finally her turn...

Friday, April 5, 2013

The not so happy birthday

Birthday week is one I look forward to.
It's crazy.  In a fun kind of way.

We celebrate three of our most favorite lives within 3 days!
Madelyn is first on March 20th, Uncle Michael is next on March 22nd and sweet Collin bug takes his turn the very next day on March 23rd.

Like I said, it's crazy.  But in the most fun kind of way.

March 20th came, and we celebrated our sweet beauty on the first day of spring!!  Precious child, how we all love her so.
We took her to dinner and sang her sweet birthday songs all day long.  We made her birthday wishes come true as she excitedly unwrapped gift after lavish gift.  
The day was as sweet as she is.

March 22nd.
Uncle Michael's birthday.
Our sweet birthday girl woke up with the pukes.
Oh mercy, say it isn't so.
But it was.
She had the dreaded stomach bug.
Unfortunately Collin was also home from school that day with a full body rash from an allergic reaction he had to the antibiotic he was on for a previous sinus infection.
Poor papa Don, he was on babysitting duty with a "rasher" and a "puker".
Madelyn was sick all day long but we thought we had it under control.  We were able to stop the vomiting with zofran and were thinking she was on the mend.

March 23rd.
Collin's birthday!
My first born was turning 6, impossible.
I was desperately praying for God to protect him from the pukes.
We were set to celebrate both birthdays with a bowling party.
Invites were out, RSVPs were all in, kids were ready to party.
Of course Madelyn was going to have to miss because she just wasn't 100%.  So sad that she would miss her party, but we promised a redo.

Papa Don offered to come stay with her and since she hadn't thrown up since the night before we took him up on the offer.  She had been complaining about her belly all day but we figured it was just part of the process and that the end must be in sight.  The bowling alley is just 2 miles from our house so we could be home in minutes should she take a turn for the worse.

But honestly, is there anything sadder?

We were so sad for her but we knew she was in loving hands so we put our smiles on and headed out to celebrate our boy.

With all the crazy at home, I left without my camera.  
All the proof I have of our party are my crummy iphone pics.

Some of our friends.
I guess our other friends were too busy throwing strikes :)

They couldn't get close enough to the birthday boy as he opened his birthday treasures...
Happy birthday sweet love...
He was "conducting" their singing.  :)
 May all your wishes come true!

Crummy pics, well maybe.
But we sure celebrated our boy!
Oh how we love him.

Unfortunately Madelyn was at home getting worse rather than better...

To be continued...

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Happy Birthday My Dear Collin

6 years.
I've been called momma for 6 years.
A name that I dreamed about having for what seemed like a lifetime.
And for 6 years it has gloriously rang in my ears.
How is it possible that 6 years have passed so quickly?
Try as I may, I simply can not slow time.
It's going so fast.
Too fast.
My firstborn is growing so quickly.

 Suddenly he is 6.
6 years old.

I often look at him and still marvel at the fact that he is mine.
My son.
You'd think after 6 years I'd have gotten used to it.
Not so.

I don't know that I'll ever get used to it.
I'm pretty sure the miracle of his life will amaze me until the very moment I take in my last breath.
6 years.
I've been called momma for 6 years.
Happy birthday my dear Collin.
May you always know just how very loved you are.