Monday, Monday

Whew.  Let me warn you that below you will find a wordy post without pictures.  I could add a few but truth be told I am feeling much to lazy to download them and then upload them to the blog.  It's the end of the day, we are all in one piece and I am glad the sun has set and the babes are asleep.  It's been a long Monday.  An overwhelming Monday.  Not for any one reason in particular...but overwhelming non the less.  I worked all day (filling in for my partner who just had a baby) which is exhausting in and of itself.  26 first graders...need I say more?  I was tired all day, just dragging along.  I came home to my energized lovies, made some dinner and then sent daddy off to shop for a "mommy van"...oh yes I did...and when we buy it I will write a post titled "eating my words" because I vowed never to drive one and now I am soooo ready to break up with the SUV that was my first love!

Daddy left and it seemed as though the house started falling down quick.  Spills left and right, crying, tantrums (from my oh so sweet Madelyn who has recently found her sassy side), more spills, time outs, fights over toys, vacuuming, spills, toys everywhere, and throw in a few more spills for good measure.  Don't you wish you would have stopped by?

Oh muh gosh people bedtime did not come quick enough!

The night ended in tears...not kid tears...mommy tears.  I try to convince myself that everyone feels this way from time to time right?  Overwhelmed by all the responsibility of raising two tiny humans.  Two tiny humans who you love more than life itself.  Two tiny humans who you feel deserve so much more than you feel able to give.  Because we all want to give our kids the world...

 Mmmhmmm and that fierce love that I feel for them is what makes this momma feel real guilty on days like today.  I have to talk myself out of the guilt because I know that most (if not all) moms have days like these, but I also have to readjust my thoughts a little.  Raising kids can be overwhelming at times...the laundry is endless, you feel like a short order cook, the house is never tidy, and then there is the discipline....iyiyi!  Trying to shape the hearts of two willful littles, well that's enough to leave a momma speechless!  Staying on top of discipline is demanding and can be frustrating, keeping up with daily household "chores" is exhausting but ultimately I am BLESSED to be able to do all of these things for my children.  If suddenly I was unable to do any one of these things I would surely no longer see them as mommy chores, but rather mommy privileges.  Because ultimately that is what they are...they are privileges.  Privileges that I prayed so earnestly for.  I wanted nothing more in this life than to be a mommy.  Out of all the children in this world, God blessed me with the exact two that I wanted!

When my two sweet loves wrap their little arms around my neck and plant wet kisses on my cheek I feel valued.  When they giggle and their laughter rings throughout my house, I feel a heart thumping joy.  When they fall and come to me crying needing me to make it better, I feel a bit like a hero.  When they just "want" their mommy, I feel a little like an angel.   When I look at them and really think about how blessed we are to have happy, healthy children I suddenly no longer feel so overwhelmed but rather overwhelming blessed...

Look to the LORD and His strength; seek His face always.

Psalm 105:4