Change my heart oh God

Sweet mercy.

I know for sure that last summer I was writing about our sweet little Collin bug and his sassy mouth.  

Annnnd here we are again folks.

What is it about summer and sass?

Don't get me wrong, the boy has plenty of times throughout each day where he is sweet and kind and obedient but we are still working on the sass and also the tone in which he chooses to speak to others.  

A friend and I were talking not long ago about how our children soak us in like a sponge, the good, the bad and the ugly.

It's really so devastating to me when I speak harshly to or around my children.  I am continually praying for God to be my portion in this area that I am often lacking in.

My friend feels the same as I and as we were talking about how we just wished we were forever delivered from any sort of sharp tongue she shared with me something a friend had shared with her.

It's something I keep thinking about...

"God will continue to do a work in our hearts so that he can then use us to work in the hearts of our children..."

Powerful don't you think?

Our failures and shortcomings as parents provide us with the perfect opportunity to teach our children how to use one of the most powerful tools in any and all relationships...

how to say "I'm sorry, please forgive me".

Ok well that makes me feel better.

Fast forward a few days...

I was trying to clean up around the house with two littles creating disasters, needing snacks, asking for drinks, yada yada.

I asked Collin to clean up some disaster in the hallway and he  was slow to listen and quick to act silly as a five year old boy often does.  ;)

Momma was not having it.

I was quick to scold him for "not listening" and he muttered

"you're just like me"

"What?" I quickly asked.

"you're talking just like me."

Ouch people, that one hurt.

But he was right.

In that moment he should have been listening and he should have been helping but the tone I chose to use with him did nothing to help.  

I quickly knelt down beside him and affirmed that he was right.

I spoke softly and apologized for my ugly tone and asked his forgiveness.  We talked about how speaking to others with harsh voices is not how you get your way.  He forgave and quickly moved on but ugh that just stinks you know?!  I hate making those mistakes in front of my kids.  BUT the spirit reminded me that I will make mistakes.  Lot's of them.  But as God changes my heart he will in turn use me to help change the hearts of my children.

My sweet children that I love more than life itself.

So change my heart oh God.

Change the ugly in my heart...